“My in-laws arrived for a visit yesterday and my MiL just tested positive for covid. We are searching for a place for them to stay so we can isolate; my 4 y.o. isn’t fully vaccinated yet.”
My friend’s text got my attention. As I tried to help her find a safe place for her in-laws to isolate, it dawned on me that it was one of the half-dozen Covid-related disruptions that I’ve seen in the last few weeks.
Friends who have had vacations interrupted or postponed.
A canceled lunch with a client who I flew across the country to eat with.
A colleague who’s down with Covid and can’t focus on a project he was heading up.
As the world opens up, we’re taking risks again. We’re eating in restaurants, gathering in offices, and traveling. But while the consequences of getting Covid have become much less severe (thanks science!), we’re not immune from the tail risk of negative health outcomes or the disruptions to our everyday lives.
So what can we do about that?
Nothing.
Of course we can make personal choices about the risks that we take — asking ourselves, “Is it worth it?” Sometimes we decide that it is, as my friend did when she explored Yellowstone with her five-year-old son and 85-year-old mother last month.
But we can’t control outcomes.
I’ve spent a lot of my life working toward a destination. “When I have X, I will be Y.” When I have a certain number of clients, I’ll be successful. When I have a certain amount of savings, I’ll feel secure.
And, my personal favorite: when I’ve spent enough time on my personal growth, I’ll no longer lose my temper with my kids (hah!) or be reactive to my life partner (hah! hah!).
But life isn’t about controlling things. The universe is too big, busy, and complex for that. It’s a process, always changing, no matter how much we shrink our world.
Moving forward in life is all about embracing that change, accepting it, and choosing how we want to react. As the Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön puts it, our job is to be “with the ambiguity and uncertainty of the present moment without reaching for anything to protect ourselves.”
At first glance, this sounds very distant from the concerns of the everyday world — and particularly the world of business — but I don’t think it is.
I see the work of bringing about positive change through this lens: leaders need to to hold a vision, move forward with purpose, but also remain open to the unpredictable and complex process of change. It’s about having an intention but being open to what emerges.
As a leader, you see that things need to change. You and your team might be asked to collaborate in different ways or to adopt new technology so you can do more work, better, faster, and cheaper. Or, you may realize that your team needs a solid strategy so that you can say no to things that don’t create value.
You probably even have an idea about what you could change. But imposing change won’t work. You might make progress, but you’ll also create resistance. As Princess Leia puts it, “The more you tighten your grip, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.”
Instead of imposing control, most of us would benefit by loosening our grip. Yes, be aware of the challenges that you face — but loosen your grip on the solutions. It’s not easy, but by letting go a little bit at a time, you will invite co-creation and the full, energetic participation of your colleagues and team.
I spend my time coaching leaders & teams to create meaningful change for their companies. If you’re one of those leaders, click here to set up a call.
* * *
Want to get these articles in your inbox? Subscribe here to join the conversation and download a sample from Meltdown.