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What Too Much Toast Taught Me about the Paradox of Change

I feel vulnerable telling you this, but there have been periods in my life where I’ve eaten a lot of buttered toast. At night, after a long day at the office, I’d get home and just devour toast with too much butter. As I’m eating the toast, I wouldn’t say I’m particularly happy about it.

 

Eventually, I hit what I now call my “Peak Toast” period, eating six, sometimes seven slices a night.

 

It was getting out of hand. 

 

The Paradoxical Theory of Change

 

During this time, I was also learning about the Paradoxical Theory of Change, the concept that change happens when you stop focusing on the person you want to become and instead turn your attention to who you are now, and the reasons for your current behaviors. By paying attention to your present experiences, thoughts, and feelings, you can learn new ways to support the hidden motivations behind your behaviors, and ultimately, the change will occur as a natural process. 

 

This way of looking at my problem helped me discover the reasons behind my actions—helped me to ask myself, “Alright, let’s make this real. What’s the value I get from eating all this toast?” 

 

If you’ve found yourself wrestling with behaviors antithetical to the person you want to be and want to hear more about what the Paradoxical Theory of Change can teach you about leadership, watch my video: Peak Toast.

 

 

The Paradoxical Theory of Change isn’t just a powerful tool for self-realization, it can also help you work through situations in the workplace where you are running into resistance from others. 

 

Are you trying to drive organizational changes, but team members or stakeholders just aren’t there with you? Pay attention to the Paradoxical Theory of Change and turn your attention to the behaviors you see right now instead of focusing solely on the changes you’re driving.

 

Curious how you can enroll your team in your change vision? So many leaders I know struggle with team members and stakeholders who either don’t see the vision or don’t like it. They encounter resistance. Some of my most impactful work comes from helping leaders develop the skills of influence they need to create cohesive, empowered teams. It all starts with learning how to work with resistance effectively. My free video Understanding the Levels of Resistance teaches you some of my best strategies for working with resistance. Download it now.

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Explore vs. Exploit – Developing Flexibility

Every organization has two important objectives. They need to streamline and exploit their strengths and successes while also remaining creative, exploring new ideas, and keeping an eye on the horizon for future trends.

 

One of the most crucial modern leadership challenges is how to balance these activities, how to innovate, and look ahead even as you’re improving what you’re doing now. Few companies do this well.

 

When the pandemic hit, companies changed how they worked because they needed to (as Zoom’s rapid adoption shows). Practically overnight, offices were closed. Employees were forced to work from home, cut off from their colleagues and collaborative office environments, each working in isolation from home offices or the living room sofa (often while managing childcare and home education responsibilities).

 

Companies figured out work-from-home models and turned their attention to streamlining their services and making sure that they remained functional through a time of incredible upheaval.

 

Even though these were significant changes, in many organizations they were also fairly superficial. With rare exceptions, they focused on how to “turn the crank” in a work-from-home world.

 

But, to stay relevant in this time of relentless change, firms have to keep moving. They have to focus, again, on inventing a new kind of crank.

 

As the pandemic has continued into 2021 and 2022, I’m starting to see some hope for exploration and innovation. Working from home, communicating via email, and having meetings over Zoom are all great ways to keep the gears of a business turning, but it is a challenging environment for creativity and spontaneity to flourish.

 

To do that, we need to be together in person.

 

That overstates things just a touch. There are ways to undertake this kind of work remotely. Design Sprints, for example, are a stereotyped approach to innovation that have whole groups of remote-only practitioners.

 

But I believe that most innovation work dramatically benefits from in-person interactions.

 

I think that there’s just no substitute for having people together, rearranging post-it notes, and rubbing elbows. There are few faster ways to build trust than to sit face-to-face with someone, share, and let each know that they have been heard.

 

While we still have to worry about getting sick, vaccines and testing can help manage that risk. Indeed, I myself am on day seven of having Covid right now. It’s not an experience I relish. But, thanks to vaccines, it’s been no worse than a bad flu.

 

So in my mind, the important return-to-work question right now is “How do we make returning to work matter?”

 

Because the monolithic strategy of mandating that people come “back” to the office misses the point.

 

Instead, let’s figure out what work is best done at home and what can only be done in person. Rather than mandate that people come in three days a week to sit in conference rooms and have video calls with colleagues in remote locations, let’s be smart about how we work. This is what I call the flexible strategy.

 

Do you need to turn the crank? Work from home is probably better!

 

For example, a friend who works with a large government organization wrote me and shared that a grant review process that took a month in 2020 and 2021 was now well past the two-month mark with no end in sight.

 

When everyone was working from home, we had 100s of people working 40-hour work weeks for a month with no issues. But now we have a lot of people back in the office, it’s a disaster. Distractions, chit-chat, and other meetings have slowed things down considerably. It’s a very different process and much more difficult. 

 

Do you need to explore new ideas, build trust, and innovate? I don’t think there’s any substitute for doing this kind of work in person. Maybe that means you and your team come together for a focused day of work every two weeks and spend the rest of the time with your pajama bottoms on.

 

What are you seeing? How is your company handling return to work? With a monolithic approach or with a flexible strategy?

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How Working Flat Saved a Life

Robert, a large, muscular man in his sixties, arrived for a routine checkup at his dentist’s office in downtown Toronto. Robert had always preferred an 8:00 a.m. appointment and was never late. And he always looked healthy and full of energy when he walked into the waiting room and greeted Donna, the office’s longtime receptionist.

 

But when Donna saw him that morning, something didn’t feel right to her. His face was red, and he was sweating. She sat him down and asked if he was okay. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he told her. “I just didn’t sleep well. I had indigestion. And my back hurts a little.” He had looked up his symptoms online, but he didn’t want to bother his doctor.

 

It sounded innocent enough, but Donna had a strange feeling that something was amiss. Though the dentist, Dr. Richard Speers, was in the middle of performing a procedure on another patient, she went in to see him. “Dick, Robert is here, and something just doesn’t feel right to me. Can you come out and take a look at him?”

 

“I’m really busy right now,” Speers replied.

 

“I really think you should see him,” Donna insisted. “Something isn’t right.”

 

– From Meltdown, by András Tilcsik and I (Penguin Press 2018)

 

 

“Something isn’t right.”

 

That phrase saved Robert’s life that day, but what if the work culture at the dental practice had been different?

 

What would have happened if Dr. Speers had continued to ignore Donna on the basis of her being a receptionist rather than a medical professional? What if Donna had second-guessed herself when Dr. Speers told her how busy he was? What if Donna felt too psychologically unsafe at work to mention her concerns at all?

 

And what can we learn from this as we think about our own businesses?

 

Today I’m going to talk about working flat, an approach to leadership that will help you create an empowered, cohesive team that drives better results with less stress and burden on you. As a result, you’ll be able to lead with less frustration and move forward with ease.

 

I’ve seen how transformative this approach has been for both big teams at global companies and functional leaders at professional services firms.

 

What is Working Flat?

 

Working flat is the concept of structuring a team with as little hierarchy as possible to promote psychological safety, open communication among all team members, and transparency regarding decisions, experiments, and errors. Working flat calls on the team to collaborate and remain engaged in their process so they can do their best work.

 

This isn’t a call for anarchy, there are still chief decision-makers in a flat system, they are just more accessible to the rest of the team and more open to advice and suggestions from people involved in all parts of a process.

 

Working flat tills the soil so that good ideas can emerge and take root.

 

The imperative to work flat on complex problems is based on the notion that a great deal of knowledge and experience are distributed through a team. You never know where the next good idea will come from. Beyond that, working flat is about the belief that complex problems are too wicked and fast-moving to be solved by siloed expertise.

 

Modern leadership involves a shift toward co-creation and away from bringing individual solutions. This is important because it can help us “take the pressure off” and re-frame our work as creating the context for success rather than needing to do everything ourselves.

 

Flattening Your System

 

If you’re reading this and recognizing the need to adopt more flat practices in your business, here are a few easy ways to start shifting:

 

Provide rich context—​Listening to the perspectives of your team members and sharing your perspective with them are crucial elements of getting them to buy into your plans. As organizations scale, it becomes harder to assure that information is being effectively cascaded across departments and teams. Sharing your context makes it easier to work with resistance and enroll others in your vision. Be transparent with your teams; make sure they understand the goals of the organization and what is being asked of them. If there is a big change being implemented and it is being met with resistance, take note of what your people are concerned about and why they are concerned, then address those concerns.

 

Have your team go to the work—​Going to the Genba, also known as “Management By Flying Around,” is a practice used by Toyota and other companies to keep leaders aware of the differences between how they imagine the work and how it actually gets done. It means going to the places where the dirty work happens, walking around and observing what’s going on, listening to what people are talking about, and building relationships with other teams.

 

Get on the same page—​Learn which objectives are most important to your boss. Ask them: “What are your objectives here?” or “What are you hoping to get from the projects that are on our team’s plate? Find out what your boss cares about so you can get on the same page.

 

Ask questions instead of giving answers—People will come to you for answers and it will be tempting to try to give them one, even if you aren’t really sure what to do yet. ​Resist the urge to come up with an answer for them. Instead, ask questions. Be curious and open-ended; make it safe to experiment.

 

Don’t require bravery for people to speak up—​Creating a psychologically safe team that feels comfortable sharing their thoughts with upper management takes a lot of work, but it can really pay off in the long run. Organizations that cultivate a culture of curiosity are more likely to have team members who are willing to say something when they notice a problem, make a mistake, or think of a better way of doing things.

 

That said, there’s no need to rush your teams into uncomfortable conflicts. Working flat is a shift. Don’t start by requiring junior members to challenge senior people or old dogma. Demonstrate the kind of culture you want to see. Start building trust and demonstrating your own vulnerability by admitting you don’t know the answers either, and by asking open-ended questions that make others feel safe to share.

 

What Became of Robert?

 

Dr. Speers’s office represents a way of working flat—Speers had always trained his staff to speak up and share when something didn’t feel right. When Donna noticed something was off with Robert, she not only felt safe to go directly to her boss with her concerns but also (despite her initial concern being dismissed), she still knew she was safe to insist that something wasn’t right and needed to be addressed immediately.

 

Confronted with Donna’s concerns, Dr. Speers stopped the procedure he was working on and turned his attention to Robert.

 

After only a few questions, Speers had a good guess as to what was going on: Robert was in the middle of a serious heart attack. Speers sent him directly to the cardiac center of Toronto General Hospital, where he had an emergency triple-bypass surgery that saved his life.

 

How about that?! Working flat saved a life!

 

Does a cohesive, empowered, results-oriented team feel constantly out of your reach? ​Book a free 30-minute call with me​ to learn how to start creating the team you know you can have.

 

I love connecting with leaders, so the call is completely free. On the call, we’ll discuss the context driving your work and your goals for your team, and I’ll provide some strategies to help support you to drive results that make a positive impact on your business.

 

From the challenge of driving change at scale and tackling complex problems with teams that are constantly waiting for you to find solutions to the importance of creating psychological safety to empower teams that actually drive results, this call is designed to help you forge a more impactful leadership system.

 

I’d love to hear from you—​you can book your call with me here.

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Leading Change Requires Drama

Cue the flashbacks to middle school.

No, I don’t mean drama as in middle school drama. I mean dramatic as in spontaneous and emergent—dramatic because we don’t know what happens next!

Natural disasters, bar fights, first dates, exploration, and play are all dramatic events. They’re dramatic because you don’t know what’s going to happen next.

Contrast that with the theatrical. Theatrical events aren’t really real. Even if they seem real, the circumstances surrounding them are generally predetermined. They are scripted rather than emergent. The outcomes are bound—we already know all the possible ends from the beginning.

A lot of corporate work tends to be theatrical: Board meetings, strategy processes, PowerPoint decks, etc. They are business as usual—we know that aside from someone starting to snore, there won’t be any real surprises.

Dramatic events require us to respond in the moment and to be curious about the outcome.

Doing change work and solving complex problems requires drama, not theatricality.

Complex problems are more than just problems with a lot of moving pieces, they’re problems that require a collective understanding and a movement to action that exists beyond any one individual. They are beyond the ken of any one person or team to solve. The small details matter.

Advancing a complex problem requires co-creation. Believe it or not, this is a dramatic act. You don’t know what kind of reality others want to create, and you don’t know what will happen when you start to collaborate.

Drama embraces the unknown, and it is the way to get a system unstuck.

A lot of change work can benefit from leaders knowing how to shift a theatrical event into a dramatic one.

 

If you’re curious how a little drama can transform the way you approach complex problems, watch my short video, Complex Challenges Require Drama.

In it, I explain how letting go of your outcome expectations and replacing your reliance on predetermined solutions with a mindset of curiosity and flexibility will help you build trust and have a greater impact with your stakeholders.

Give it a watch!


Are you a podcast fan? I’m curious about what you’re listening to! What are your favorite leadership podcasts? Drop your recommendations here!

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The Consequences of Following Rules

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the consequences of following rules (and its complement, innovation).

 

Everywhere you look there are rules and regulations written in BOLD.

 

NO TRESPASSING

 

PARKED CARS WILL BE TICKETED

 

KEEP REFRIGERATED

 

USE BY 08/01/2023

 

But what happens when one breaks the rules? Are the penalties severe and immediate, or are they mild and under-enforced? Is there some level of cost/benefit analysis that can be applied to petty shenaniganry?

 

My partner seems to innately understand that there is more elbow room in the system than advertised. She ignores Use By dates and refrigeration warnings at will. Yesterday’s yogurt! Room-temperature salad dressing! Eggs on the counter!

 

Eggs on the counter!

 

I’ve been on a quest for the last few years to break more rules. It’s like waking up in the post-simulation goo of The Matrix, messy and enlightening at the same time.

 

First I started paying for parking selectively. Not because I’m a jerk (at least, I don’t think so) who wants to game the system. Rather, I realized that my anxiety about parking (running out of time! Running back to feed the meter!) was taking up a lot of my energy — without my having any sense of how likely a parking enforcement action actually was.

 

And now I’ve gathered some data. And I mostly pay for parking. But, when my spot expires and I’ll be back at the car in fifteen minutes, I don’t sweat it. I’ve paid fines a couple of times—and that’s been OK.

 

In business, I think we’re often bound by our beliefs about our systems rather than the reality of a system itself. These rules are more implicit than a sign demanding (requesting?) that you pay for parking.

 

For example, many participants in the legal ecosystem use an hourly billing model which creates a lot of perverse side effects (like the incentive to do things inefficiently). They’re operating in a local maximum — while they may be maximizing billings, they are missing the opportunity to climb a bigger mountain and transform the way their firm or practice works.

 

Mostly, I suspect, this is because it feels quite comfortable to do things in the usual way. Shifting a practice like this is hard because it requires a willingness to take risks and deal with the consequences of being wrong.

 

If that feels scary to you, I have three suggestions.

 

  1. Start small. Leave some eggs on the counter overnight and see what happens. Stop paying for parking and see what the fines are like. It may sound silly, but I think the “muscle” is the same in both cases.
  2. Acknowledge that expanding your boundaries is, in fact, scary. Try to figure out why. What’s the story you’re telling yourself? Does trying something like this feel like it exposes you to catastrophic failure?
  3. Work with someone who can support you. This is what I do in my consulting and coaching practice, guide leaders who are transforming the way their teams, companies, and even their whole industries work.

 

What about you? Where might you be stuck inside the Matrix? What rules can you break to test how deep the rabbit hole goes?

 

If you’re dealing with the resistance that comes along with breaking established rules and leading organizational change, download my guide: 3 Mistakes Most Leaders Make When Leading Change.

 

3 Mistakes most leaders make with change

And how to avoid them!

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